Are BDSM Consultations Right For You?
I partnered with Tracie Ibrahim in July of 2015. Tracie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Sex Therapist. We partnered with the goal of helping some of her clients expand their sexual horizons, and helping some of my clients move beyond any emotional blockages so they might continue to explore their relationship to kink in the healthiest way possible. Read on to learn more about how BDSM Consultations came into being, and whether or not they could be right for you.
Photographed by Fetigraph
Are BDSM Consultations Right For You?
I met Tracie back in 2009 when my very first D/s relationship hit a wall. I was seeking a couples counselor who specialized in BDSM and I liked her profile on Psychology Today.
I signed up for couples counseling with my former partner, and Tracie helped me draw a distinction between a broken person and a true submissive (those of you who know, really know). I did not remain in contact with my ex, but Tracie and I kept in touch over the years, until the idea that we should work together came up.
Tracie first invited me to sit on a panel for new CST (Certified Sex Therapy) grads and it soon became apparent that I could provide guidance for Tracie’s clients and vice versa. For Tracie, the partnership was about finding someone she could trust with her clients. Understandably, Tracie was reticent to partner with someone she didn’t know personally. For me, the partnership serves as an opportunity to help people in a new way by exploring creative intervention across modalities.
I love opening people’s minds, and giving them tools to form happier, healthier relationships — with themselves and their partner(s). I think of myself as a healer and a guide for those of you who are looking to take your healing and exploration process from the therapist’s couch to the bedroom, or dungeon.
Read on to find out if BDSM Consultations are right for you.
Curious, yet reticent? Anxious, yet compelled? Unsure about your role in your current D/s relationship(s)?
If you would like to tap into your playful potential and feel more fully expressed, but you’re not quite sure where to begin, I can help.
A lot of people don’t know what they like, or might like, but would benefit from a very basic sexual exploration; such as options for masturbation, foreplay, role play, seduction, basic sensual touch/massage, exploring different sensations (temperature, tactile, flavors, smells, etc).
Whether you have little to no experience when it comes to sexual exploration or you’re a well seasoned player in the BDSM scene, I can help. I’m open to working with you one-on-one or with you and your partner(s).
Key things I like to emphasize during consultations:
- Open mindedness is essential. Talking about sexuality and/or BDSM can be overwhelming at first, but if we’re paralyzed by fear we won’t get very far. Keeping an open mind is key.
- It’s supposed to be fun! Sexuality can be a weighty topic, especially in our culture. With so much terrain to navigate, I like to hold it all lightly and remind people that playfulness and curiosity are at the core of this exploration.
- Transparency is so important. When working with couples and poly families I make sure to keep all conversations above board and, when necessary, I pay very close attention to the needs of the least experienced or least eager party.
I like to think about what I didn’t know when I began. After 8 years of playing personally and 7 years of playing professionally it’s good to remember that once upon a time I was overwhelmed by all of this too. If I don’t think you’re ready for certain types of play I will tell you. I will also encourage you to engage in play that I think you and/or your partner(s) could benefit from.
An ability to meet you exactly where you’re at is the only way for me to help you get to where you’re going.
P.S. The majority of my consultation clientele are referred to me through Tracie, but don’t let that stop you from reaching out.
If you think you could benefit from a one-on-one consultation, let me know when you contact me.
Appointment phone: 562-397-3229